Syamil Hafiy

09 January 2016

Fight Dem Insecurity

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in·se·cu·ri·ty
uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.


Self-doubt, diffidence, unassertiveness, timidity, uncertainty, nervousness. You name it, they all lead towards the same thing. Insecurity often linked to the lack of confidence. From little girls to grown-up men, we all have our own insecurities. But what about those that felt insecure about everything? Like his/her existence wasn't good enough for those around them?

["My insecurity stems from not having control in a relationship, where I see a girl texting another guy, and not knowing who he is or what the substance of their association could be." —Adam, 24. Taken from here.]

This 'confession' is a perfect example of one of my insecurities deep inside. Back when I was in a relationship, this is personally related to me. That's how insecure I am.



I admit, I was one of them [and before anyone says anything, I want to point out that feeling insecure as a guy is perfectly fine]. I felt I was never good enough. My confidence was low, I got anxiety every time I talk to people. Especially new people. Heck, I can't keep an eye contact when I am having a conversation with someone. You know, feeling inferior compared to other human beings. I can't even do anything without constantly thinking 'omg these people are judging me and talking behind my back'.

I was. I am slowly overcoming that. Talking to people became easier. Meeting new people excites me. I got the recipe to increase my level of confidence. They are not lab-tested but it worked for me.

  • Don't feel inferior. Remember that other people also have their own insecurities. Don't lose to them. Own them!
  • Keep in mind that everybody makes mistakes. Think of it as a learning opportunity.
  • Don't think too much. Lack of self-esteem is often caused by overthinking. People give less fuck to you than you thought.
  • Afraid people are judging you? Who the hell cares. People are gonna judge every single thing so why should you be worried.
  • Stay away from negativity. If some people are dragging you down, physically or emotionally, just turn your back and walk away. You don't deserve that.
  • Always, always think you deserve better. Don't just accept what life throw at you. You are more than that.
  • Work that appearance up, son! Groom yourself, dress nicely, put some perfume spray on. You know what they say, good appearance = confidence boost.

Well, about the insecurity in a relationship, I still do have them. What can I say is, just put you trust on your partner. Out of other thousands more attractive person, they chose you. [easier said than done lol] 

Peace.

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