Syamil Hafiy

quality content once in a decade

18 January 2016

Hand gestures you need to avoid in interviews

So I just took an interview test for my English subject (well last week tbh). Alhamdulillah for the mark that the lecturer gave me. 

I'm not gonna talk about the interview or the mark or anything. Just wanna go through the comment, which is "Lay off hand gestures."

I find it funny because prior to the test I watched The Wolf of Wall Street. Y'know, the movie about a  nerdy worker turn to multi-millionaire broker starring Leo DiCaprio. In that movie, I was greatly attracted to the way they (Leo DiCaprio, Matthew McConaughey) talked. The way they use their hands to convey the message. I even practiced the interview with my friends using hand gestures.

Oh, how that backfires me lol

So I did some research (ya, research after the interview, such waste of time) on the internet. While hand gestures are actually helping you in an interview, excessive hand gestures may seemed aggressive and unnatural. And some gestures are really bad for your interview. I made a list on which and why hand gestures are not good during an interview.

1. Avoid chopping gestures.
What are you doing, an interview or karate? This gesture can show that you're confident, or maybe over-confident.

2. Avoid pointing.
Pointing your finger(s) is often perceived as aggressive and in some cultures is considered rude.

3. Avoid hands in your pocket
Pocketed hands indicate unwillingness, mistrust and reluctance. Not something you want in a company, aite?

4. Avoid hands at your back
What are you holding back there, a gun or a bouquet of flowers? Nobody knows.

5. Avoid crossing your arms in front of you.
Crossing your arms may show that you are not open to critism, new ideas, etc.

Other body gestures you should avoid:

1. Grooming gestures.
Playing with your hair, fingernails and jewelry is a no-no. This will be a distraction to the interviewer. 

2. Leaning back.
Means you're uninterested. That simple.

3. Stare.
While keeping an eye contact is relevant, locking your eye contact for a period of time can be interpreted as aggressive and creepy.


09 January 2016

Fight Dem Insecurity

No comments
uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.

Self-doubt, diffidence, unassertiveness, timidity, uncertainty, nervousness. You name it, they all lead towards the same thing. Insecurity often linked to the lack of confidence. From little girls to grown-up men, we all have our own insecurities. But what about those that felt insecure about everything? Like his/her existence wasn't good enough for those around them?

["My insecurity stems from not having control in a relationship, where I see a girl texting another guy, and not knowing who he is or what the substance of their association could be." —Adam, 24. Taken from here.]

This 'confession' is a perfect example of one of my insecurities deep inside. Back when I was in a relationship, this is personally related to me. That's how insecure I am.

I admit, I was one of them [and before anyone says anything, I want to point out that feeling insecure as a guy is perfectly fine]. I felt I was never good enough. My confidence was low, I got anxiety every time I talk to people. Especially new people. Heck, I can't keep an eye contact when I am having a conversation with someone. You know, feeling inferior compared to other human beings. I can't even do anything without constantly thinking 'omg these people are judging me and talking behind my back'.

I was. I am slowly overcoming that. Talking to people became easier. Meeting new people excites me. I got the recipe to increase my level of confidence. They are not lab-tested but it worked for me.

  • Don't feel inferior. Remember that other people also have their own insecurities. Don't lose to them. Own them!
  • Keep in mind that everybody makes mistakes. Think of it as a learning opportunity.
  • Don't think too much. Lack of self-esteem is often caused by overthinking. People give less fuck to you than you thought.
  • Afraid people are judging you? Who the hell cares. People are gonna judge every single thing so why should you be worried.
  • Stay away from negativity. If some people are dragging you down, physically or emotionally, just turn your back and walk away. You don't deserve that.
  • Always, always think you deserve better. Don't just accept what life throw at you. You are more than that.
  • Work that appearance up, son! Groom yourself, dress nicely, put some perfume spray on. You know what they say, good appearance = confidence boost.

Well, about the insecurity in a relationship, I still do have them. What can I say is, just put you trust on your partner. Out of other thousands more attractive person, they chose you. [easier said than done lol]